Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
