your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
