She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
