Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This is my gift to your gina
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The air taste purple.
Randomize
