he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize