Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
