Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It's just like the Real World with babies
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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