dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize