my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
