it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
