Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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