So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
