either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
