Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
