so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
