ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
