i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize