She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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