So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
