Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
