If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
