Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
