She said her name was "party"
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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