didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
