Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
