Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
