sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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