lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
