Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
