She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
