these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
