They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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