she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
