it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
