direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize