I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
