He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
