u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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