I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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