I must be too annoying 4 u.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
