he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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