how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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