just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
