Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
