ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
