I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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