She's JV to your varsity
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
