Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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