I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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