you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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