She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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