but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
