We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
