Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
