at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
