You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
