Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
