420 ftw
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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