just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
