You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
