life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
