I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Don't make out with my wife yet
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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